Recently, two major incidents took place in Greece: first of all. the blackmailing of a left politician on the basis of a video which was recorded by some students who gave it to a reporter, who in his turn used it to expose the politician’s sexual preferences; the second is concerns the Greek Pride parades and is splitted into another two issues: i) a photographer took an unsolicited picture of a trans woman. At first denied doing so, but under pressure from those nearby deleted it. Afterwards an article was written to discuss the topic and a lawyer was asked about it. ii) A few days later, Golden Dawn (the extreme right wing party of the Greek parliament) uploaded the photos from Thessaloniki Pride, which where hosted on an online magazine, to their own site with harmful intentions.
What these cases have in common is that there was no consent given to record the video or to take photos, and this material was used to attack the victims. I hope we can agree that there is something very wrong with blaming the victim. There is something totally disturbing when the actor (this time, the reporters) isn’t accused of violating the law. Continue reading
Sexuality and gender are two of the most important aspects of a person’s identity. They are so important, in fact, that they shape how others perceive us and whether they approve and accept who we are. There are many stories, fictional or based on real circumstances, that describe the rising conflicts when expressions of identity outside of the norm become visible. Rarely though are we concerned with the opposite situation. Imagine what happens when something that you see as a fundemental aspect of yourself is invisible. Continue reading
Obsession is usually depicted as something negative or costly in the mainstream media. The negativity becomes greater when one has to deal with people’s love for fiction. Annie Wilkes almost killed writer Paul Sheldon in Stephen King’s classic Misery, due to her uncontrolled love of the latter’s fictional stories. Don Quixote made up his own worlds and loved them so dearly that he ended up a symbol of all paranoia.
In the following article, I will not try to go to the opposite extreme and say that being a modern Don Quixote should be an acceptable lifestyle choice, but I wish to prove this simple claim; as there are harmful ways to be obsessed with universes that “do not exist”, there are positive paths too -and I have lived both. Continue reading
Heteronormativity isn’t just about the presumption that everyone is heterosexual. The expectation that boys woo girls feeds into your mind the expectation that relationships are necessary for fulfilment, and you are less than if you are not having particular kinds of sex with a particular, and a particular kind of, person at particular intervals. It’s about what Lauren Berlant calls the love plot, in which love is produced as a generic text enabling society to interpret your life as following certain conventions. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you’re supposed to want. You’re not encouraged to think about what you want in relationships, if anything, so much as you are encouraged to fit a script. Heteronormativity messes things up for everyone, straight people included.
~ Chally at Zero at the Bone
On the previous posts, we’ve talked about things like slut-shaming and sexual choices, cat calling, flirt and rape culture. In this last installment, I want to go back to ‘the basics’ and talk about all the small things we get wrong and lead to the downfall of a relationship. And in contrast to the other posts that were focused on heterosexuals, I’ll try including our queer friends here. Love and relationships aren’t solely for cis het people after all; it’s the dynamics that might be more or less problematic. Continue reading
This might be romantic in fiction; not at all in real life.
I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
But you’re a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
~”Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke
A lot of ruckus was generated this past month and continues to be stirred around this song, and not without reason. It actually says that men can interpret whatever gesture a woman makes as sign of horniness and agreeing to sexual advances, which is not only disrespectful but also dangerous for women. The song is climbing the charts and that’s worrisome. I am not going to give further attention to the singer or the song and its MV – I hope some lyrics are enough for you and please refrain from searching it on youtube and thus giving it more credit and views; but you can check the chilling comparison with rape survivors’ testimonies here. I want to step on it to talk about misconceptions in flirting, share some experiences and make certain things clear. Continue reading
Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
~ Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine
It so happened that during my e-walks I stumbled upon this quote and I felt quite akward till hair-raising. It seems very innocent and cute; nothing wrong with it, right? Me being a crabbed person who overanalyzes things might be a more possible scenario, some of you might think. I’m really sorry though that things aren’t like this, since I don’t consider myself a masochist to want to ruin my mood with every little thing. Continue reading