Thankful to be alive

I giggled the other day when a friend called 2016 “the worst year in memory”. Of course the world has every reason to think of this as a horrible year. Many beloved stars died, Trump got elected president, politically and economically the world feels very unstable. 2016 did not start well for me either. 365 days ago I was afraid I would miss Foxy as a friend for good (that we would get so distanced we would never talk again). The few money I had saved would probably run out and alongside them my dreams of transitioning and living a happy life. I spent months being completely unproductive and thinking of suicide repeatedly.

But 2016 progressed and things took an unexpected turn for the better. I had an internship during the summer, then started HRT on September and I am currently working on a decently paying job. Things are far from perfect but at least my world is not burning. And if it is to burn, I may have a little more ground to stand during the fight. I made new friends, participated in NaNoWoRiMo for the first time and had so much fun during 2016’s closure. Bad moments were present and numerous but, overall, 2016 was an okay year for me. So I decided that I should write down this small list of things that make me thankful to be alive after almost three decades on planet Earth.

I wish to all of you a happy 2017, filled with love, health and wealth, material and spiritual.

I am thankful…

  1. For all the moments I have lived out of the closet
  2. For exchanging gifts with the people I love
  3. For Devilman, Akira & Miki ❤
  4. For the books I have designed (and those I will in the future)
  5. For Foxy, my best friend~~
  6. For good loud metal music, from Opeth to Blind Guardian to Fear Factory, all the bands that made me dream and hope
  7. For quiet, atmospheric music from movies and video games, the melodies that keep me company all the time
  8. For milk and cookies
  9. For playing The Cat Lady, Final Fantasy VII & IX, the Silent Hill and Resident Evil original trilogies. For great video games in general, a consistent source of happiness ever since childhood
  10. For the books in my elementary school’s library, filled with traditional illustrations that made me love drawing
  11. For meeting Katan, Ducky, Oplitis, Kardoula, the friends who always deserve the warmest hugs
  12. For the pages on to which I printed my nightmares
  13. For having a fascinating woman call me attractive and put me against the wall and kiss me
  14. For having the opportunity to taste majestic, awesome home made food
  15. For all the times I failed to kill myself
  16. For desires, those I have fulfilled and those to be experienced in the future
  17. For Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Cutie Honey, Hunter x Hunter, Vampire Princess Miyu, Berserk and all the anime that take me to magical worlds
  18. For all the overly masculine guys in my wet dreams (Chris Evans, you will always be my “Captain”)
  19. For The End of Monsters by Kira Sinou, the one book I remember loving both as a kid and an adult to the same degree
  20. For my teens not being a characteristic part of my life. Thank God…
  21. For the precious moments of happiness when I wished time would stop moving
  22. For starting HRT, even if not as early as I would like to. It still has been a tremendous improvement in such a short time
  23. For competitive boarding games
  24. For studying graphic design, the only thing I can do relatively well as a professional
  25. For that time in my early puberty when my mother, in a rare sign of acceptance, agreed to let me use her lipstick and take a walk with me. I only wish you could do this again, mother, and not ask me to pretend and hide
  26. For the good family moments I had the chance to live
  27. For dinosaurs, my first and lifetime fandom (Triceratop, I love ya <3)
  28. For my evolving fashion sense
  29. For sex, soft and hard, emotional and rough
  30. For the moments I honestly cried or laughed

There are definitely plenty of people, experiences and objects I forget to mention but I hope next year I will be around to add them to a second part. Thank you for reading and I wish you the very best.

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4 thoughts on “Thankful to be alive

  1. I am glad that 2016 was not a bad year for you! I hope things will get even better in 2017! Happy New Year!

    It is interesting that you mention this list. Yesterday, on the 31st, I also wrote in my journal about the things I appreciate in life and on my perspective on the year. It was a good exercise, and made me appreciate what I have more.

    Like

  2. Not the best of years overall but I’m very glad to hear you are doing well. May you have a happy 2017 filled with even more joyous gifts and occasions.

    Like

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