I came across this beautiful illustration with the fluffy hair and the striking red scarves the other day and wanted to write a post about my feelings and thoughts on winter.
I step outside and that moment my temperature falls; I’m quite sensitive. The cold makes my spine shiver, but what sticks out of my body suffer mostly. Namely, my hands and feet, which sweat easily, are the first victims of cold. Especially my hands get numb and my bones start aching. My nose experiences frost and I feel like it’ll fall any minute now. It also gets harder to breathe. The frosty wind invades my nostrils and forces itself through them: it’s a very annoying to a suffocating point thing that happens. The wind doesn’t know any kindness and my ears aren’t spared any pain. And of course, as a result, wind can get me dizzy. My poor lips change color and turn a blue-ish purple. So, I always try not to forget to bundle up with at least two layers of clothes, wear gloves, a scarf and a beret. Damn, nasty cold!
The surroundings are dyed in tones of grey and blue and you think you can experience the blue period of Picasso paintings. When I see white landscapes, filled with snow, I’m not of those people who’ll think of ski and snowboard (I’m not very athletic) or of playing with the snow; instead I think of loneliness and coldness. Even when the sun is out, in such places, there’s something very wild and aggressive in the serenity of these white blankets nature made. I keep bringing up in my memory a half-forgotten poem in my native language that we were taught in high school: it was a modern poem describing how unpleasant and unfriendly the color white can get, even though white is usually associated with good things. White are the corridors in a hospital, white is also the straitjacket. And there’s a song of one of my favourite Greek singers, Natassa Bofiliou, that reinforces the negative image of white: “Nothing important, I live in white. […] If madness had a color, it would be white.” Besides, there are the fairy tales of the merciless Snow Queen and of the ruthless Yuki-onna.
Although winter is a season I’m not comfortable with, there are still some good traits one can cherish. For example, the big warm hugs of the person you love the most. Winter makes me appreciate the shelter a house can be. It makes me realize how priceless a fluffy blanket can be. I really enjoy going under the covers and straight in the arms of Neko-kun. His body is very cozy and his breath relaxes me. Or we wrap the blanket around us, I nestle in his embrace and we watch anime. A cup of tea or hot chocolate or coffee are reassuring while you hear the wind howling and see the trees bending. Just this winter is more special than those that have already passed: Neko-kun got in the army and has come on my island. This winter we got our chance to come closer than before and have fun together, sharing sweet intimacy and experiencing some wild passion.
Unfortunately, beautiful things don’t last long, and Neko-kun is going to spent the rest of his army service in his hometown after March begins, away from where I can reach him. I know this is for the best, but I can’t help but feel sad and deprived like an addict that loses his/her addiction. Perhaps the reason I can’t stand winter is because up to the point I met my precious treasure my life felt like an endless winter. I console my self with the hope that the winter will end soon and spring will be born from it, life will thrive and will shine brightly.
How do you feel about winter?
P.S. This post is tagged as a Serendipity, which was a series of posts about things I encountered and reminded of my life (music, manga, pictures, etc.). Since we’ve launched a Tumblr, I won’t post such things here anymore. We’ll give you an update and more news about Tumblr in the next post.